Click is also the sound of the hammer of a gun.

Ftom Sunday January 13 2013, Instagram has the legal right to sell all the pictures you so happily uploaded. Er, so can facebook, who this week completed the acquisition of Instagram.

Are you looking forward to some extra cash in the mail?

You idiot, the terms say you will not be informed, or requested. Forget payment.

You really want pictures of family being traded and appearing God-Knows-Where?

Rose-tinted is tinted. Period.

About 2 weeks ago, I got pulled over at Prabhadevi. Tinted glass. 

I got out and commenced a furious argument with the cop. He gave back as good as he got, and I was giving it to him, pointing out the almost black-glassed cars whizzing by. He ignored it all.

Jitu's license confiscated.

Last week we go to Mahim station. License has been sent to Worli.

Early this week Jitu, takes the car to Worli. A officious, bespectacled hawaldar had surveyed the car, announced that the bare glass was too tinted, and demanded that the glass be changed. 

Jitu, ever the fixer, offered chai paani to the hawaldar.

The hawaldar told him that he would give Jitu chai paani and to go get the damn glass changed. 

A dumbfounded Jitu arrived back. 

Er ... change the glass? The glass is the original glass, with the factory glass stamp on it. I checked. All 4 glasses correct. 

I called around and asked friends. I posted on facebook. Everyone had the same answer: I am entitled to my 'normal' glass. Chai paani was the only recourse. Which of course, did not help, because the cop was not accepting the glass or chai paani.

So, this morning, I drive to Worli. On the way, I stopped 4 times, 3 times at different pairs of traffic cops at different spots on the Western Express Highway, and I asked each of them if my glass was too tinted. They look confused. Each time I told my story. The first one smiled and looked at me and said: "Ab main kya kahoon Sir." The second started giggling and skipped off to tell his pal the hilarious story and they both looked at me and giggled. The third one saluted me. Crisply. I was flumoxxed. The fourth was the one who had caught me in the first place. He asked me if I was still angry. I asked him if he was angry. We started laughing. He told me he had NO idea what the hawaldar had told Jitu and that it definitely did not make sense. We shook hands. He gave me the name of a senior cop and said to approach him if it happened again and not to say he had provided the name. He warned me NOT to offer the senior cop chai paani, "Saab, woh officer hai aap jaisa, unko chhaai paani ki zaroorat nahin."

So I arrived at the Worli RTO Office and stood in a scrawly line outside the building, like a good citizen. After 5 minutes, a young-ish cop emerged and the entire line dissolved in a flies-to-the-honey mob around him. "Film ka gaadi lok hai kya"? hawaldar asked. A chorus of haan, yes, ji. "Gaadi gate peh leke aao!" he instructed. We dispersed in all directions like schoolchildren asked to locate the missing prize.

One jackass respectfully asked him to come to his car parked a bit away. "Gaadi idhar lao," he drawled, his voice dripping disdain. "main gaadi ke paas nahin jaata hoon." Off went the little chap.

Cop and mob now proceeded to the gate. My driver Jeetu did what he usually does, warped all the laws of physics and got the car in sideways blocking the entire gate of the RTO office. 

Cop nimbly ignored my car, sauntered off to two other cars, inspected, signed pauti.

He came to me. Looked me up and down. "Bolo Sir" he said.

Me, in full cunning mode: "Good afternoon. Saab maine film nikala. Nilalne ke paise bhi lage." Some reverse psychology there, not sure where, but its there.

Cop gave me withering look. "Yahan leke aatey toh free mein nikalta tha."

My driver Jeetu opened all four doors. The officer closely inspected the rear left glass and scratched at the top centimeter of glass. "Sagle kaadle", Jitu offered. "Pudchah?" "Ho saheb." "Maagcha?" "Ho Saheb."

OK he scrawled on the pauti.

Not a word about tinted glass. Not one word.

I sat in the car while Jitu scooted off to do the paperwork. Apparently I was charged Rs 200 extra fine for arguing with the cop who had nailed me in the first place. The same one who was now my friend, as of this morning, and who had sternly advised me to stop eating salt to relieve my blood pressure.

End of episode. 

For coff.

So you fancy yourself as a coffee enthusiast, eh? A connoisseur maybe? Always stylishly ordering that 'cuppa coffee' when you are out with friends?

Yes, of course, coffee has cache and class. And a past too. ;) Did you know that, that once upon a time, if you were caught smuggling it out of Arabia, you were summarily executed? Now that's a classic example of coffee going to your head.

But there is giod news in the third millenium. Apparently research shows that coffee, among other things, could play a good role in keeping you a step AWAY from oral cancer, diabetes, heart failure.

So fess up, coffee lover. Were you hiding this from the rest of us?

Here is some more good news: the 7 health benefits of coffee:  coffee may lead to longer lives, ward off Alzheimers, skin cancer, Parkinson's disease and risk of stroke. Decaf lowers the risk of cognitive decline too!

Of course there is always some not-so-good news: your eyes may pay the price. 

Remember to always discuss things with your doctor. Visit your opthalmologist if you want to discuss the matter, We have a good one at the hospital you can always make a quick appointment. :)

And remember, there is talk that the coffee bean may go extinct within 70 years!

Adapted from http://www.medicaldaily.com/articles/13463/20121210/coffee-lowers-risk-oral-cancer-49-percent.htm

All other links from the same page at  www.medical daily.com

A jar and 2 beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in the day are not enough, remember the story of the mayonnaise jar
and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured
the entire contents into the jar filled with golf balls, pebbles and
sand, effectively filling all the empty space that was not visible to
the naked eye.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children,
your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if
everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still
be full.The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job,
your house and your car..The sand is everything else---the small
stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you
spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have
room for the things that are important to you. So pay attention to the
things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your
children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take
your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes of golf. There will
always be time to clean the house, fix the disposal or deal with
things from your job. Take care of the golf balls first---the things
that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked. The beer just
shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always
room for a couple of beers with a friend."

iMemo to Steve Jobs.

Dear Steve,

I think someone should tell you.

They've released an iPad mini in the very size you openly maintained was all wrong and would never fly.

They've told a packed courtroom, for the record, that you really did have customer focus groups while designing the iPhone. I remember you saying the customer doesn't know what they want, and that you disdained customer focus groups.

They're released the new iTunes. Fahad Manjoo of the Slate, a superb tech columnist  frequently accused of being a unbridled Apple fanboy, has blown the whistle on the mess it is.

A British judge recently averred that Apple should not have been issued some of the patents it was issued, and forced Apple to print an apology then forced Apple to reprint a REAL apology.

Samsung has announced it will no longer supply Apple with batteries. Imagine that.

Oh, the Samsung S3 is the hottest selling phone on the planet. 

It is looking like the ding in Apple's universe has already been made.

Whatever Apple will do now to find its way again, I hope they are not following the newly-launched Apple Maps.

Jet Airways VT-JGD

My friend Captain Janam Parikh shoots a Jet bird that looks very serious about getting to that runway and taking off.

Jet Airways VT-JLD shot by Captain Janam Parikh.

You can find Janam at https://www.facebook.com/JuniorCommanderJanam

A aviation enthusiast with the camera-fu to match his passion.

Test.

Figured out, with Ronak Shetty's help, how to blog to all my blogs simultaneously. 

COFFEE is a 6 letter word.

 Somewhere a very cheeky designer is still chuckling over getting away with a little typographic stunt ..... and millions of Indians, including this restaurant I ordered coffee at, are sipping away at coffee cups that they thought said 'coffee'.